It's funny how we were looking forward to some benefits that comes with the easing of restrictions in phase one; such as small social interactions, gyms opening, heck, even buying bubble tea without having to additionally order specific foods (looking at all you boba brands). Yet, all we got were the Visiting Grandparents pass—which let's admit, how often did we before Circuit Breaker?—and the possibility to go back to the office under necessary conditions.
Challenging as it is. let us remember that we do this for our nation, for the essential workers risking their lives for us, and for the hope that we will one day complain about our waiter taking too long to get our food to the table again. As you bite down on the extended lockdown, find solace in the solidarity of our shared suffering.
I’m on day 27 of being useless in a pandemic.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) April 16, 2020
I BARELY HAVE TWO
No quarantine has all five:
– ur partner
– balcony / garden
– pasta
– quiet neighbours
– hi speed wifi— holly✨ (@hollyshortall) April 12, 2020
REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE
I feel like such an idiot for panic-buying so much pasta. it takes like 3 packs worth to wipe your ass
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) March 15, 2020
WHAT SORT OF LIFE IS THIS REALLY
What's the point of it all if we're just going to have to poop it all out!? Living is so much work.
— Mulier Fortis (@faltuspeaker) May 2, 2020
IT'S ONLY FAIR
How about the dishes wash me for a change
— quinta brunson (@quintabrunson) March 29, 2020
DOES SHE THO
bet marie kondo is wishing she had more shit in her house right about now.
— approx. 50 chicken nuggets (@tigersgoroooar) April 15, 2020
HEY FITNESS JUNKIES
Fucking waste of an afternoon. Just did a massive home workout and didn’t film any of it.
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) March 26, 2020
"What up, what up, SoulCycle Computer?!" #SNLAtHome pic.twitter.com/DhYUm7qtl0
— Saturday Night Live – SNL (@nbcsnl) April 27, 2020
ALTERNATIVELY
can we all just agree to gain 15 pounds. that way none of us have to feel weird about it
— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) March 15, 2020
OR ARE YOU THE TYPE TO
I’m at the ‘just ordered headbands from an instagram ad while lying on my back in the middle of the floor’ stage of quarantine.
— Kendra Alvey ? (@Kendragarden) May 5, 2020
I reached the “I actually watched everyone’s IG stories” stage of isolation.
— Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) April 26, 2020
AND FOR THE WEDDED FOLK
If your marriage is feeling some strain during the pandemic, have you tried not clearing your throat so much?
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) May 18, 2020
HOW ELSE?
“How are you coping with and navigating these interesting, uncertain times?” pic.twitter.com/zXB84Agip4
— The Hermit (@tristanreveur) April 8, 2020
DON'T EVEN GET US STARTED ON ZOOM FATIGUE
Not muting your mic is the new reply all
— Dani Burger (@daniburgz) March 30, 2020
The end of every #Zoom meeting. #LaurelAndHardy https://t.co/f2l7zwuEzy pic.twitter.com/EG8Q7z3WmR
— Laurel and Hardy (@Stan_And_Ollie) April 30, 2020
THE OTHER THINGS WE MISS
I miss touching things I’m not going to buy.
— carla ciccone (@cciccone) May 4, 2020
i miss checking in to hotels and getting briefed on what the concept of a hotel is
— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) May 21, 2020
TIME TRULY IS A CONCEPT
Days are now divided by coffee hours and alcohol hours, there is no other law
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) April 1, 2020
how everyday feels pic.twitter.com/elJephfeI5
— Z (@zahraloum) March 24, 2020
does this make sense pic.twitter.com/ezgESLMCFn
— bridget ?? (@wholemilkbitch) May 1, 2020
I lost my teens to my depression and now I'm losing my twenties to a pandemic can't wait to lose my thirties to climate change!!!!
— Fiona Applebum says block Shaun King! (@WrittenByHanna) April 2, 2020
THE NATURAL THING TO DO
when this is over im having intercourse w all of my friends
— Jenny Yang (@jennyyangtv) March 31, 2020
WE JUST HAVE TO BE VIGILANT ALRIGHT
Just saw a very sweet slice of quarantine life. Two young lovers in jogging gear in Springfield Park, clearly pretending to be doing their exercise for the day so they could steal a moment together. Not ashamed to say I had a slight catch in my throat as I called the police.
— Séamas It Ever Was (@shockproofbeats) March 25, 2020
THE FUTURE NOT FARAWAY
2072: “hey grandpa i did a sourdough starter” pic.twitter.com/j2K66I103C
— Dan (@AntonioSlamsci) April 1, 2020
