With the invention of remote-controlled vibrators, it's only a matter of time when someone invents a pair of BDSM headphones. Well, that time is now. But why? Maybe when getting whipped, paddled and clamped, you need to distract yourself from all the consensual pain with the healing power of music? After all, everything is better with music, right?
The SSENSE exclusive Tormenta Cage Headphone Head Piece looks constrictive (that's probably the point) but the ear pads are cushioned with suede for some semblance of comfort. The sides, top and neck leather tabs are adjustable with up to three levels of tightness to ensure a perfect fit. We should also point out that SSENSE states that "use of the product by a user is at the user’s own risk and peril". And there is no warranty or guarantees of any kind. Sounds safe.
Still, we won't judge if you still insist on getting that last available pair. But here are five other items that we'd rather spend SGD8,670 on.
Six intrecciato nappa leather belts by Bottega Veneta (SGD1,260 each)
If you like to get all bound and tied up in the privacy of your own bedroom, at least invest in something that you can actually wear out without being ridiculed for.
12 Beoplay H9i headphones by Bang & Olufsen (SGD699 each)
Available in two colours and would probably deliver better comfort and sound, both in and out of your 'Red Room'. It also comes with an intuitive touch interface to control the volume, song selection and switch between call and listening modes. The Tormenta does none of the above; just saying.
15 tassel keychains by Rick Owens (SGD575 each via Farfetch)
If whips and chains excite you, consider this leather tassel keychain.
43 leather harness bags by Artém Atelier (SGD199 each)
It's an erotic riff on the belt bag. Instead of wearing the belt bag around the waist—like how the street style folks do—the harness bag is worn higher up on the chest. To be honest, it doesn't look half as questionable as the Tormenta and it's functional.
144 sets of three-pack stretch cotton boxer briefs by Calvin Klein Underwear (approximately SGD60 per set via Mr Porter)
At three per pack, you'll be getting 432 pairs of boxer briefs. That's enough to last you for more than a year. And if you're still set on the Tormenta and its potential uses, you'll definitely need a year's supply of underwear anyway. For the naughty, maybe buy some edible underwear—umami flavouring?
Supreme x Brooklyn Machine Works bike and other ways to spend SGD67,000
Loewe Paula’s Ibiza sequinned shorts and other ways to spend SGD1,150
Rimowa x Supreme luggages and other ways to spend SGD2,400
Stern x Supreme pinball machine and other ways to spend SGD14,800
Moynat’s Holdall bag and other ways to spend SGD7,600
Gucci’s octopus jacquard armchair and other ways to spend SGD8,980
Le Gramme’s Le 33 polished 18-carat gold cuff and other ways to spend SGD8,700
Berluti’s leather coat and other ways to spend SGD15,800
Dries Van Noten’s Ebru marble printed raincoat and other ways to spend SGD2,030
Givenchy’s large JAW hybrid bag and other ways to spend SGD2,550
Dior Men’s metal Saddle bag and other ways to spend SGD48,000
Balenciaga’s layered coat and other ways to spend SGD8,760
Bottega Veneta’s Maxi Cabat and other ways to spend SGD13,630