Esquire SG

Man in the mirror: Words of wisdom and life advice from key change agents and personalities in Singapore

We asked 18 industry leaders: what do you see when you look in the mirror?

Words By Photos By Vanessa Caitlin
We invited 18 industry leaders—men and women shaping Singapore—to share their self-reflections and nuggets of wisdom.
“A loose-toothed shark is what I see in the mirror. Sharks constantly have to move forward, otherwise they die (half true, we checked). In a nutshell—plenty of room for improvement. I have a constant restlessness that is both good and bad. It makes for an awful way to live with oneself, yet it’s also a constant motivation to never settle with what one has and work towards being better. To my 12-year-old self, learn to be a better son!” —Adrian Pang, 52, actor and co-artistic director of Pangdemonium Theatre Company
“Learn when you’re young, live when you’re ready, then share your wisdom. I’ve been through the life cycle of an athlete; following the footsteps of my dad who was involved in sports, belonged to the sporting community, and then giving back to the sport fraternity as a coach. As they say, you can't take your medals with you. It’s just the experiences that enrich your life, so be open to experience the challenges and the joys of what life gives.” —Ang Peng Siong, 56, coach
“What looks back at me in my reflection is the truth. I don’t look to find fault with myself because I have accepted who I am. I don’t see my flaws as imperfections, but a part and parcel of the story of my life. I’m learning to, as my mother advised, let go and let God. I don’t subscribe to a religion but I understand it as living in the moment. You can’t predict the future, so don’t rush anything or anyone.” —Anita Kapoor, 47, presenter/speaker/performer
“I’m often surprised at what I see as it’s forever changing / I see signs of age slowly creeping in like an unwanted guest / I see the lines around my eyes from years of laughter / I see a young man inside me that keeps me at 29 forever / I see the eyes of determination / I see a fighting spirit that drives me / I see a kind person willing to listen and mentor / What I see in the mirror is me!” —Bill Cain, 60, founder of Hat of Cain
“The man in the mirror is exceptionally curious about many things in the world. Exceptionally hungry to learn, grow and do something spectacular. My great-grandmother was very famous for always saying: ‘Do the best you can, as often as you can, for as long as you can, for as many as you can’. My only regret is the time wasted on things that didn’t matter and were beyond my control.” —Gibran Baydoun, 30, director of operations of 1880
“I think it’s such a shame that people disregard or disrespect those in the service industry because you can learn something from everyone regardless of their background, status or level of education. To quote Tim Minchin, ‘I don't care if you're the most powerful cat in the room, I will judge you on how you treat the least powerful’. If you truly understand empathy, compassion and kindness, you'll go a long way.” —Harry Grover, 38, co-owner & founder of Common Man, Forty Hands
“Have two things. Have patience. Good things always come to those who wait. Even if you’re impatient, learn to be patient. Have consistency; in work, love and money. These two virtues are key to life, my life at least. If you truly understand and want to work around them, they will help in the path to success.” —Hasnor Sidik, 38, director of Telok Ayer Arts Club
“When I look in the mirror, I see triumphs, defeats and God's grace.” —Javier Perez, 38++, change maker
“Figure out your passions and pursue them no matter what other people tell you. Don't listen to your friends, parents, teachers, especially if people laugh at you and tell you you're nuts. That's when you should do it. Most people don't figure out their life passions, or even if they do, they're afraid to pursue it. People who pursue their passions never go to work. They wake up every morning and start having fun, and those are the successful people. To my 12-year-old self, learn Chinese!” —Jim Rogers, 76, businessman and investor
“There is no way you can learn from life advice. You can only learn from life itself. If you don't learn to learn, you will be stuck in the same place forever. When I went to study theatre in my teens, which was unheard of at that time, my dad supported me and paid for my education. He said it doesn't matter what subject you learn, the point of education is to learn how to learn. Even now there’s still so much more to learn. I’m annoyed yet excited by how much I still don't know.” —Lim Yu-Beng, 53, actor
“Prioritise self-love. Not in a narcissistic way, but to ask yourself what you need to feel connected, and doing things just for yourself. Allow yourself to rest and recalibrate, carve out time to grow and nourish your spirit. I believe that if I wasn’t always operating off adrenaline, there were a lot of situations that would have affected me less. Be compassionate to yourself and it will filter out into everything you do.” —Lisa Von Tang, 31, director and designer
“Quoting the Dalai Lama: ‘Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck’. There are situations when I thank God I didn't get a particular job or that a relationship didn't work out. Trust in God, be positive and be in the moment. The past is over and the future is not here yet, so right now, I choose happiness. To my 12-year old self, don't worry about the acne, it will pass!” —Michelle Goh, 40s, talent agent
“Read two books at a time—fiction and non-fiction—so you can exercise both sides of the brain. Relax and let ideas occur with the right brain, then use the left brain to focus and execute those ideas. Balance the two, watch shit you don't like and pay attention to things that you’re not interested in. It will widen your domain of knowledge and diversify your work. To my 12-year-old self, don't do drugs. Stay in school.” —Mojoko/Steve Lawler, 41, multimedia artist
“What you want on your tombstone should be the way you live your life. You don't want to be defined by your title, yet we live our life that way. We’re in a world where everybody is chasing how much you can earn, but that’s irrelevant to how much you can save. We hear about overnight millionaires who end up spending everything and losing things that are more valuable than money; family, friends. If we learn how to die, we'll learn how to live.” —Pat Law, 30s, founder of Goodstuph
“A personal life lesson was learning to do what I want with a certain sense of urgency. I once had a location in mind to film for a documentary, unfortunately due to my procrastination, I lost the opportunity because the place got torn down. I had to let the story go altogether. Life is truly short and we only have one to live. So go out and experience everything. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes and don’t delay to make things happen. To my 12-year-old self, you're not going to be bullied forever, things will get better.” —Royston Tan, 42, filmmaker
“Steve Jobs gave a speech about connecting the dots; having an interest and weaving it into what you do. People say it’s easier said than done; they view their passions and careers as two separate entities. But if you start putting some thought into it, you can surprise yourself at how you can link the two in your life.” —Satinder Garcha, 47, CEO of The Garcha Group
“It’s definitely not Michael Jackson I see in the mirror. But I see a guy who knows how to have fun in his life. I was a very shy person, but got catapulted into the media by accident. I’m now in a career of making fun of people and getting paid for it. What kind of job is that! I’ve discovered that the world is not so serious, it’s what you make it up to be. You can’t change the world, but you can change your view of the world. It’s much easier, faster and less frustrating to change yourself than those around you. To my 12-year-old self, go and make more friends!” —Suhaimi Yusof, 49, actor/producer
“The mirror is an evolving thing. I went through a miscarriage last year and thus saw a lot of self-loathing in my reflection, which I found myself articulating aloud. I came to realise the incredible power of words and stopped. Now I say positive things to myself. We're all humans trying to figure everything out and we make plenty of mistakes. I try not to focus on regret because it’s looking to the past, as opposed to learning from mistakes, which is looking to the future.” —Yvette King, 34, host of E! Asia

In conjunction with our 'man in the mirror' theme for the November issue (featuring a dashing Nicholas Hoult on the cover), we invited 18 of Singapore's movers and shakers, industry leaders, change makers, and just all round great folk, to share their nuggets of wisdom with us. Gold.

But we didn't just saddle up to these personalities and ask: "Hey, could you summarise your life lessons into one concise phrase that we can share with our readers?" Goodness, no. We have more creative muscle than that, dear chaps. Rather, we asked this motley crew of Singaporeans two key questions: first, what would they tell their 12-year-old selves; and second, what do they see (or tell themselves) when they look in the mirror? Are they asking themselves to change their ways? And no message could have been any clearer? If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make change? *Yee hee! Grabs crotch. Moonwalks off stage.*

As you peek into the stories behind the portrait (intimately captured on the new Huawei Mate 20 Pro), allow their insights to show you more of them, and perhaps in the process, more of the (wo)man in your mirror.

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