Let's get this straight: Singapore is clearly not all full of Crazy Rich Asians. The book that the movie is based on is clearly focused on a small segment of our multicultural and diverse population. And while we may not agree on the values and merits of having a Hollywood movie made about the elite Chinese rich that it portrays, let's agree on one thing—there are extremely rich people in Singapore.
Do crazy rich Asians spend crazy amounts of money and do crazy things with their wealth? Maybe. There has to be a reason why luxury brands exist and produce things at unthinkable prices, right? Because a sane, average person probably wouldn't be entering a Moynat boutique and sweeping off a shelf of its leather goods at one go. Or paying a professional queuer to stand in for a Supreme x Louis Vuitton drop. Or dropping some hard cash just to be first on the waitlist for Kim Jones debut collection for Dior. These are all possible if you're crazy and rich.
For the rest of us battling with never-ending student debts (with interest if your parents used up their CPF funds), struggling to find a build-to-order flat that's affordable and not built on a previous cemetery site, and can only truly understand the meaning of 'rich' when it's applied to a plate of rendang, we can still look like a crazy, rich Asian. But on a budget of course.
Let us show you how.
A coat for those yearly winter getaways
When we say 'yearly winter getaways', we mean a different coat for every winter getaway. The thought of wearing the same coat to Paris every winter is just unfathomable, especially when you've already worn a statement Valentino coat once. And worse still if it's already out on the 'gram. Get a black wool coat from H&M that'll be indistinguishable no matter how many times you return to the same vacation spot. Or the coldest section in Cold Storage.
A crossbody bag for jaunts around the city
Even the crazy rich don't carry cash anymore; everything is a swipe and a thumbprint away. So there's really no need for a big bag to carry around wads of bills. Keep things classy in an all-black crossbody bag with silver hardware—you're on trend but also subtle in your style. Like how luxury should be, your ASOS DESIGN bag is packed and shipped right to your doorstep without you having to lift a finger. You'd probably have to make an effort to call Goyard for that level of service.
A suit to throw on whenever
You're rich and bougie, so you need a suit. But because you can't be travelling to Savile Row to have one made bespoke (it's because you're busy, of course) you settle for an off-the-rack piece. Just make sure that you tailor it as close to your exact specifications as possible for the perfect faux bespoke fit. And then just wear it at the most casual of events to dress better than the rest of the plebeians.
A statement ring to keep them talking
The panther is an iconic symbol of power, masculinity and wealth, especially if it's a Cartier piece. But no one goes around with a loupe to check the clarity of your (faux) diamonds. All you need is the confidence to pull it off and assure naysayers that you're holding on to a vintage piece of unknown origins, passed down by your army general great-grandfather, who found this on the battlefield during the Great Wakandan War.
A pair of go-to sneakers
This needs a bit of a critical eye and some creativity. Upgrade the humble Converse into a luxurious Christian Louboutin (knock-off) by grabbing a couple of coarse glitter from Spotlight and embellishing the sneakers, using the same precision and skill an Italian artisan would. It's not that easy to be a crazy, rich Asian.