Say what you will about humankind and our amazing ability to shaft ourselves at every turn (countless wars, man-made calamities, the Kardashians… take your pick) but you also can’t deny that humanity strives to push the limits of what a body and/or mind can do.
It’s what pushes us on to climb the highest peaks, to dive the deepest oceans, to take a trek into the great unknown, to see what fascinating objects we can shove up our rectums.
And it’s probably humanity's fatal curiosity (including seeing whether a toy car will fit up their bums) that has brought humankind to Impossible Foods.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, cave or spent the last half-century frozen in ice, you’ll probably have heard of them.
It’s probably humanity's fatal curiosity (including seeing whether a toy car will fit up their bums) that has brought humankind to Impossible Foods
You know, the people trying to perfect the art of meat without actually having any meat whatsoever—the very antithesis of what I had last week at Shake Shack. I just watched a video talking about how Impossible Foods makes its not-meat patties and it blew my mind.
Mostly because I didn’t understand a damn word they were saying. There was something in there about soy, something about heme, something about a mass spectrometer.
Anyway, since Impossible Foods made its debut in Singapore earlier this year, there are now several ways you can have your anti-meat, including through Deliveroo, and mostly in minced form, via burgers, meatballs and the like. PappaRich even has a pretty good Impossible rendang, though somewhat disappointingly, that comes in not-meatball form, not in big brisket-y chunks.
Apparently, while Impossible Foods is on the bleeding edge of food science, it hasn’t yet figured out lab-grown steaks. Or at least, figure how to make a lab-grown steak taste good, and this is an important point to note. That’s because an Impossible patty, insofar as Omakase Burger’s offering goes, makes for an amazing burger.
Since Impossible Foods made its debut in Singapore earlier this year, there are now several ways you can have your anti-meat, including through Deliveroo
Not in a I-can’t-believe-this-isn’t-meat sorta way, but like this-is-a-damn-fine-burger way. How much of it is down to the Impossible patty itself and how much of it is down to Omakase Burger’s prep and the addition of “hand-picked, plant-based ingredients” is open to debate, however.
I’m not entirely sure whether Omakase Burger put in a mass spectrometer into its patty, but given how good it tastes, I wouldn’t be too surprised.
But I digress. To properly assess the merits of the meatless meat patty, I enlisted the help of a friend, who ordered a regular burger. And when I say regular, I mean a burger that had a patty made from the flesh of an animal that was once a living, breathing thing.
An animal that, before its life was cruelly curtailed for your eating pleasure, had the same hopes, dreams and fears as you, YOU MURDERER.
Before you go any further, the answer is yes. Yes, I do have friends, crazy as it sounds. And yes, I’m fairly sure they hang out with me because they enjoy my company, and not because I bribed them with the promise of a free meal.
An Impossible patty, insofar as Omakase Burger’s offering goes, makes for an amazing burger
What do you take them for? My friends aren’t that easily bought.
I had to give them two free meals, plus pay for post-dinner drinks.
Now, this had to be the Impossible burger’s sternest test. A back-to-back comparison against a burger MADE FROM THE FLESH OF A BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERED ANIMAL. Like all the best burgers, the Impossible burger has a certain meaty something to it, and insanely enough, it’s even juicy.
Hell, the thing even bleeds.
Yeah, sure. If you’re really looking, you can detect some level of fakery in it. In how certain bites give you a sort of mushroom-y bounce when your teeth hit it. That said, for the most part, it works, and uncannily well, at that.
So, while I was sitting there chewing through a burger not made of meat and having it bleed onto the paper-lined tray, I found myself thinking, “why”.
I mean, concerns about sustainability aside, what Impossible Foods has done is kinda bonkers. It’s spent the better part of a decade and millions of dollars turning non-meat into something that bears a striking resemblance to meat.
For the most part, it works, and uncannily well, at that
And Impossible Foods isn’t stopping there. The Impossible patty is now in its second iteration and pizza chain Little Caesar’s has put an Impossible sausage (stop snickering at the back, you) on its pizzas. At the rate things are going, it’s probably only a matter of time before there’s an Impossible steak.
What a time to be alive.
I can only imagine it’s like being around during the Age of Discovery or the Space Race, or when that rando from Yishun decided to see what objects he could ram up his bum on a dare.
10-word review: What was once thought impossible is now a tasty possibility
Best paired with: Actual meat? What's that?